In Japan, overconfident people aren't really liked

The other day, I watched a YouTube video by a freelance project manager. Apparently work has been drying up lately and they’ve been struggling to land gigs.

A comment under the video said, “with that attitude, it’s going to be tough.” A bit harsh — but honestly, I felt the same.

Their tone was very self-assured, with this lingering air of “the people hiring just don’t get it.”

Of course, I’m sure they’re capable. The resume reads like a long career at major companies — probably someone who held a strong position internally.

But in Japan, “too much self-confidence” “a vibe of looking down on others” gets read very negatively.

In some Western cultures, strong self-assertion is valued. Japan is the opposite.

Freelancers especially get judged on “do they seem easy to work with.”

Project managers, even more so.

On a freelance project, the team members aren’t your subordinates.

They’re business partners from different companies.

So the moment people think

“might yell at people” “feels intense” “sounds high-maintenance”

it gets pretty rough.

Of course, once you actually work with them, there are plenty of cases where you realize “wow, they’re actually a great person!”

But interviews are short.

You can’t see that far in.

So first impressions become critical.

Grooming matters, but tone of voice and the overall vibe matter just as much.

This becomes especially tricky as you get older. After years of being treated as a senior internally, you can give off a “looking down” energy without realizing it.

But in the freelance market, the question being asked is

“can I work with this person for the next six months?”

It’s not just skill.

“Do they feel safe to work with” matters a lot too.